People who work at shelters see it all too often. Someone comes in all smiles, eager to adopt a dog, only to return it to the shelter within a few days. The reasons vary. But the results are always the same. Heartbreak for everyone involved. Maybe you’ve adopted a dog and things aren’t working out quite the way you planned. Before giving up on your adopted dog, please read this.
As Vicki Clinebell of Dogtime.com explains: “Even if a dog comes from a great shelter and is entering a loving home, there’s a lot of stress associated with so much change. “
Every dog will make the transition to a new home in their own way at their own speed. But for a shelter dog, the adjustment period can take a bit longer. Six weeks, eight weeks or even up to three months.
Think about it for a minute. Most shelter dogs were abandoned or surrendered. They had a family, sometimes for many years. They were surrounded by familiar securities. They were loved, cared for, taken for walks and sleeping in their own snuggly bed. Then one day, everything changed. Their owner put their leash on and took them to the car and they went for a ride, the way they had done so many times before. Only this time, they left him in some strange place, with strange people and they never, ever came back.
Then again, maybe the life of the dog you adopted was never great. Maybe they were never loved and always unwanted, eventually dumped on the side of a road somewhere and forced to live as a stray, struggling to survive on the streets, getting yelled at and chased away by strangers who didn’t care. Or maybe the dog had an abusive or neglectful owner and was rescued or confiscated and taken to a shelter. Even if the dog was taken to a great shelter, where it was treated with kindness and lovingly nursed back to health, the trauma of what they suffered does not just evaporate and the confines of a strange new environment surrounded by strange people can be terrifying. Then, even if the animal is adopted into a loving home, there’s a lot of stress associated with going though even more change with yet another new place and even more strange faces. The ability to trust and to feel safe is understandably challenged.
Remember: As the new pet parent, you made the choice to bring them into your life. So, are you going to accept them for who they are and work with them to find common ground or are you just going to expect them to conform to what you want them to be? Are you going to prove to them they are worth your effort or are you just going to give up on them, like everyone else?
Of course, the best way to avoid having to return your adopted dog to the shelter is to make sure you are ready for a dog in the first place. A great way to find out if you’re prepared — especially to take responsibility for the particular dog you’ve chosen — is to just foster a dog first and see what you can handle. Shelters and rescues need fosters to help care for dogs while they look for their forever homes.
But if you’ve already taken the plunge and adopted a dog, only to have things work out in a way you weren’t expecting, please reconsider your plan to just give up. Below are four of the most common reasons why people return adopted dogs to a shelter and the alternative measures you can take to keep your dog in your family.
Bad Behavior:
Bad behavior is by far the most common reason why dogs are returned to a shelter after adoption. Whether they’re going potty inside, chewing on shoes, furniture or TV remotes or they are driving your neighbors crazy with the loud barking/whining/howling songs of total separation anxiety, it can always be very stressful. Before giving up on your adopted dog, know this: As frustrating as it can be, most – if not all — of a dog’s bad behavior can get better with time, patience and training.
Typical Bad Behaviors May Include:
Going potty inside
Separation anxiety
Leash aggression
Herding behavior
Too much energy
Digging or chewing
Biting or jumping up
Food aggression
If your personal training efforts don’t succeed, you can find help from a dog training class or a personal dog trainer. Contact the shelter where you adopted the pup. Most shelters and rescue organizations already have a list of trainers or facilities they work with when trying to rehabilitate some of their less social intakes. Just reach out. No one expects you handle the transition alone. Just don’t feel discouraged. Training can be a long process, but it can also be very rewarding.
Group training sessions not only give your new pup a chance to learn how to be social and obedient around other dogs, it will benefit you as well. It will give you an opportunity to get out of the house and to share in the company of other fur parents who are going through the same thing. You can share stories and find support among those who understand what you’re going through.
Medical Costs:
Even if you adopted a perfectly healthy dog, the sad fact is that some dogs will develop some sort of medical condition that will require the attention of a veterinarian. While most conditions can be treated quite easily, some medical conditions can become very expensive.
Before giving up on your adopted dog because you can’t afford the care required, please realize that covering the cost of your dog’s medical needs may also cause financial strain for the shelter. Remember, they have many other animals in their care. If the condition is contagious, there will also be the risk that your dog can infect the other animals at the facility.
A dog with a medical condition is much also harder to adopt out, so your pup may be suffering at the shelter for a long time. In the worst case, the dog may die at the shelter, alone.
On the bright side, there are places where you can find help with the cost of your dog’s medical needs. Talk to your veterinarian. Most will be willing to work with you to reduce the cost or to set up a payment plan. In addition, you may have a university in your area with a veterinary program that may also offer low-cost services.
In addition, while you might not be aware until you find yourself in need, there are many organizations out there that help people cover the cost of their pets’ conditions. You can find a list containing the names of fifteen of these organizations here.
Moving to a place that won’t accept Pets:
If you’ve adopted a dog, you should consider it to be a member of your family. You wouldn’t move to a place that won’t allow you to bring your child with you, would you? When looking for a new place to call home, you shouldn’t consider a place that won’t allow your fur-baby to come with you in the first place.
However, it’s understandable that financial circumstances will sometimes limit your options. If you’re going to rent, ask your potential landlord what you can do. Explain that your dog is a member of the family. Some will allow a dog to stay for an additional security deposit or monthly fee.
If not, remember there are other housing options available to you. You can even use filters on most property search engines that will show only places that let pups come with you. Before giving up on your adopted dog over a problem that has solutions, remember that you are the one who chose to adopt the dog in the first place. It’s your responsibility to at least try to live up to the responsibilities of that choice.
A New Baby:
First of all, CONGRATULATIONS! What a wonderful new adventure to em-bark upon. Second, one of the best things about dogs and babies is that they both spend most of their time napping! Still, there’s a good chance that those nap-times aren’t always going to be at the same time.
It’s a fact. A new baby is going to take up a lot of your time. So it’s hard to imagine that you’re going to have enough time to properly devote to your dog as well. There are, however, ways to take care of a baby and a dog at the same time.
Before giving up on your adopted dog because you have a new baby, please know there are things you can do to have both. Try taking your dog for a walk on a leash at the same time you take your baby your baby out in the stroller. Find ways to adapt daily family life, gatherings and events to include your dog in “the family.”
It’s like one Top Social Media Influencer Terry Alex once said: “If it’s important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.”
Still, if you really have tried and you are genuinely unable keep your dog, please show your adopted dog one final act of kindness. Try to find your dog another loving home among people you know and trust. Ask family members, friends, co-workers and neighbors, people that you’ve known and trusted for a long time .
If you are unable to find someone willing to make your dog part of their family, contact the shelter you adopted them from or some other rescue group or reputable no-kill shelter that does thorough background checks for adopters.
Never sell or give away your dog through social media. Dogs who are given up this way can end up as bait dogs in dog fighting rings where they are torn apart for sport. They can also end up in an abusive or neglectful home. You have no idea who could be taking your dog. Remember: The dog you are going to surrender may have lived a life of abuse or neglect before you adopted them. Before giving up on your adopted dog, please reconsider. Please don’t put them through that again. The effect of being abandoned again can be utterly devastating.
Please, do this last favor for your pup. Return them to the shelter you adopted them from or find some other organization The Humane Society of the Nature Coast has one of the best reputations for providing a clean, caring environment for their furry residents. who is going to care for them until they find their true fur-ever home. You will break their heart when you surrender them again, but at least you’ll be giving them the best chance of finding a new home and new pet parents who will love them and help them heal.
Are you a pet parent with some helpful advice to offer for people who are facing a choice of returning their dog to the shelter? Please share your advice or stories in the comments below!
I got Charlie Kohl almost 4 years ago. He was 2 at the time. In his first 2 years, he had been dumped at a shelter, adopted, then confiscated, then moved from Georgia to a rescue here in Florida where he was for 6 months. House and crate trained, and he could sit like nobody’s business!! About a year later, he decided to see if he could be the alpha, displaying strange and scary behavior towards me. Being alone with him that week was scary. I had to lock him out of the bedroom and eventually in his crate. He growled any time I tried to lay down to go to sleep. No, there was no medical issues for me. I didnt want to try to do anything without someone there. When my boyfriend came for the weekend, he observed his behavior and immediately swatted his nose pretty good. I think it actually took Charlie Kohl by surprise, but all he did was tuck tail and jump off the bed. I knew then that he wouldn’t hurt me if I corrected him. On sunday night, when it was just me and Charlie, he tried it again, but this time I yanked him down firmly by his collar and told him “NO”. He has never done it since! It takes love, and definitely patience, but it is well worth it. You decide to get a dog, and it is for life!! They need you to not give up on them. I’m happy to say he has been with me for 4 years now, and he knows he is in a stable home with people who love him!
Thank you for sharing your story, Cece!
Below is a link to an article I found about what you experienced. Apparently, Charlie Kohl’s behavior was inspired by a lack of structure and stability in his life before you came along to save him. By giving him the table home and sense of security he needed, he was able to relax and let you be “leader of the pack” because YOU demonstrated that he could trust you to take care of him.
Thank you for not giving up on him! To someone else who may be going through the same thing, your story will surely provide the inspiration and encouragement they may need to hang in there as well.
https://holidaybarn.com/what-happens-when-your-dog-thinks-hes-the-boss/
Four months ago I adopted a magnificent hound. He had been horribly abused and returned twice by adopters. As a result of his injuries he is incontinent and his anxiety is beyond anything I have seen as a dog owner (he is #10). Although he has bonded beautifully with me, his anxiety is as severe as ever. Getting him outside is challenging. A behaviorist, trainer and a vet have recommended euthanasia. I am still exploring options but am running out of ideas.
Hello Karen:
First, I must commend you for the perseverance and devotion you have in not giving up on this dog. You are likely the first and only human in its like who has ever demonstrated real, unconditional love.
That his injuries are the cause of the incontinence, has your veterinarian discussed any surgical remedies?
I had a dog with the same condition as she became older. Her name was Millie. We learned to recognize the “signs” she would give us when she had to go out. Because she was losing the ability to get up on her own we would have to help her. As with you, a veterinarian recommended we euthanize her, saying we had to consider her “quality of life.” That’s exactly what we were doing. She was otherwise happy and healthy. The only difference was there was a bit more effort involved. We opted to keep working with her. and never regretted a day of it. We found a vest with handles that we used to help her walk. She lived five more years, to the ripe old age of 13. If there is no course to fix this condition with your dog, is this something you were aware of before the adoption and are willing to work with? This is a decision you must make.
As for the anxiety issues… I am no expert but — while I am certain the abuse as not as severe, our Millie was also abused. Her owners were neighbors on mine. They adopted Millie a few weeks after I adopted my puppy, Marley. Marley and Millie were best buddies. Millie was an adorable fluff ball. All puppies are adorable. But they grow up to be dogs. That is, unfortunately, when many people lose interest in them. Millie spent the next three years living in the laundry room and was only let out to go to the bathroom. She had little if any human interaction. Sometimes they would forget she was outside and would leave her there for long periods of time. She would frequently get out of the yard and other neighbors would find her and bring her back. One night, a neighbor was driving home about three in the morning in a howling thunder storm and found Millie sitting in thee middle of a vacant lot, scared to death. Her owners didn’t even know she was gone. When she got out the next time she came to my house. She an Marley were playing in the yard when the male owner came screeching over in his truck. He got out, screaming at Millie, who ran and cowered behind my legs. He was yelling about taking her to the pound. He had had it and blah, blah, blah. Other neighbors were on their front lawns watching. I told him I would take her. I told him to go home. With so many witnesses he complied. She was mine now.
It literally took six months for Millie to stop cowering in the corner by the front door. She wedged herself so tightly into that corner there was a permanent smudge mark on the walls. She would eat and go back to the corner. She would go out to go potty and go right back to the corner. It was during this time she became incontinent. That’s when we found out she had a tumor in her rectum. After surgery, she had no control over her bowels or bladder so… Well… You know.
It was actually Marley who coaxed her out of the corner one day. You see, Marley’s favorite game was “run around the couch.” He would get a toy and shake it to coax me into chasing him around the couch. The new would drop the toy and I would pick it up. Then he would chase me around the couch. It was silly but he loved it. One day, as we were playing the game, he turned and brought the toy to Millie, who was (of course) wedged into the corner by the door. He shook the toy to show her how you do that part. Then he dropped it on the floor and ran the other way. When he saw she didn’t follow he went back and picked up the toy and shook it again. Then he dropped it on the floor and shoved it closer to her. He barked… “pick it up!” Then ran away again. He did this several times. But, no dice. She didn’t budge. So, Marley and I kept playing on our own. A few more weeks passed and then the most amazing thing happened. One day, while playing “run around the couch” again, I noticed this little face peering around the corner. It was Millie. She was watching us have fun. Then Marley saw her. Again, he brought her the toy, shook it (to make sure she got that part) and dropped it at her feet. He ran back around the couch. She looked down at it, staring… Then Marley ran back to get the toy to show her again how it’s done… But before he could get there she picked it up and took off toward the couch… and that was when she came out of her shell.
I don’t know if any of this proves helpful to you. But if it does nothing more than give you hope…
Perhaps a furry companion would be helpful. Sort of like a therapy pet for your pet?
I did find a few articles, which you may find helpful. I have provided the links below.
https://www.petmd.com/dog/behavior/how-heal-emotionally-traumatized-pet
https://www.animalsurgical.com/anxiety-in-dogs/
https://www.bustle.com/p/if-youre-adopting-a-traumatized-dog-heres-what-experts-want-you-to-know-18009866
Please keep me updated and et me know if you have any other questions.
Hello there! I recently adopted a 7-year-old dog named Sadi, this was my family and I first time adopting a dog. She is a very sweet dog who is kind and sweet and loves to cuddle. When she goes for a walk she does not pull, but when she says a male and other dogs, she starts to cry and whimper. This is strange and I can only assume it is because she was abused or mistreated as a puppy and as a young dog. I also have a new issue with her, and the issue is that she keeps peeing all over my house. She only pees in my upstairs living room and it is starting to become a real issue. We took her to the doctor a few days after we got her, and the doctor said she has nothing except an ear infection. Is there a proper way to reprimand her without hitting her or making her afraid of us? That is the last thing I would want to do to a dog that has gone through that already. Please help me!
Thank you so much for reaching out with your dilemma.
First, I am so pleased you do not want to give up on your dog or give your dog away. I promise, you can work through this! I have provided some guidance below, which I hope will prove helpful.
1 – Don’t Hit or Yell
Punishing or screaming at your dog for urinating in the house will usually make things worse rather than better. Dogs have very short-term memory. If you reprimand a dog after you discover it has urinated in the house, it will have no idea why you are angry. Such action from you will teach the dog that people are unpredictable or unsafe to be around. Punishing your dog when you catch them in the act may make it afraid to urinate in front of you (even outdoors), which could lead to more indoor accidents. Your hunch she may have been abused by her former owner may be accurate. This will require some additional patience and effort on your part… which brings me to the second suggestion.
2 – Back to School
You may have to re-Potty Train Your Dog. Maybe the new surroundings has the pup a bit confused and she isn’t sure what the program is for going outside for potty breaks. Maybe the previous owners didn’t provide adequate or consistent training for the pup so she isn’t sure what she’s supposed to do. I have two dogs, both adopted and previously owned. One barks when he has to go out. The other just sits at the back door and waits. If I don’t pay attention and see the second dog at the door… she will eventually let it go, right there at the back door. Remember. The best ingredient for successful training with a dog on anything is consistency.
3 – Increase Potty Breaks
Take your dog outside to pee first thing in the morning when she wakes up and don’t let her back in until she completes her… task. Also take her out right after drinking, eating and especially right after she wakes from a nap. Same thing. Ake her stay out until she does “her thing.” When she does, praise her and offer a treat immediately after so she associates praise and treats with peeing outside.
4 – Clean up Properly
If you pay attention when a dog goes to the bathroom, they start by smelling the area. They are creatures of habit and will usually go in the same places for #1 and #2. Our second dog has four places she goes to every time. While she doesn’t go to each in the same order, she hits every one of them every time. If the dog can smell where it has urinated before it believes that is “the bathroom.” For you, that’s the bedroom. Thoroughly clean up each accident as soon as possible with an enzymatic cleaner that eliminates the smell. Resolve Urine Destroyer is a very good product. Another thing to do is to close off her access to the upstairs living room so the she cannot get in there unsupervised. If you see her going there, take her outside and wait until she goes to the bathroom. Eventually, she will get it!
5 – Get Professional Help
As you have already taken her to a veterinarian to eliminate the possibility of the problem being caused by a medical issue (kudos to you, by the way. That’s always the FIRST thing you should do), and after you try all of the above measures and they don’t work… you might want to consider taking her to a dog trainer or behaviorist. Sometimes, a professional can identify the problem in as little as one session.
I hope this helps. I would like to thank you for the inspiration. I am going to use this for another blog post on the website!
Best of luck and let us know how it goes!
I have a sweet girl (formally known as Lilac) but I call her Olive <3. I haven't fully adopted her yet because the shelter has allowed my to foster her first. Olive is a 2 year old corgidor (corgi and lab mix). She's wonderful but we keep running into the same main two issues: (1) She has a very hard time focusing with other people/animals are around – jumping and lunging (no barking); as if I haven't been training her consistently and constantly when the opportunity presents itself. It's very frustrating! (2) she doesn't want to play with any toys…like ZERO interest at all – but will chew up things in the house and nip at hands. I'm not sure what to do and may be in over my head, I'm thinking about just taking her back but I'm soooo conflicted. She's an amazing potential ESA and she really helps to pull me out of those mentally dark places but it makes me feel like I keep failing because I can't train her well…also, I have a low income and sometimes I feel like by the time I'm done paying for more toys trying to find one she like or training treats, I could've afforded some decent therapy.
I think Patricia Rummel’s article here is unfair. I adopted Zeppelin a month ago. He is aggressive towards everyone except me and is destroying the carpet to name just a couple of his bad behaviors. This dog is a hound. He really needs a yard with a tall fence he can run. I can’t run. I take him for four walks, three of them around the block. I gave him toys and things to chew on. I can’t afford dog training classes. He is too much for me and I’m heartbroken that I have to return him but to keep him would be unfair as it’s too stressful for me and I can’t give him what he needs. The article made me feel like I was doing the wrong thing when I’m not.
The article does not say anything to make YOU feel guilty, but it shows that is a decision that should be taken seriously and that people SHOULD try everything and make an effort before returning a dog to the shelter!!